Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
