dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
