Non-Jews are for practice
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's never too late to be topless.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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