in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
