Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
