Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
