I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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