No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
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