Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
