my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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