Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
