almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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