Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
