Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
