can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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