i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize