Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
