there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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