I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
