I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
kristin has been a bad kristin
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
