I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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