I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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