oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i barfeds in our rink
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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