Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
