Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize