I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I would ride that face into the sunset
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
