All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
