just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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