i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
