i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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