Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
