I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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