My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
