you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
