Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
