is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
