I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
