why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
