I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
