just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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