He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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