this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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