The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
