My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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