I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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