Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
