I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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