Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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