Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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