Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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