so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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