The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
