She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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