this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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