Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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