The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize