Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
