Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
