We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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