he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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