Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
