You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
