we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
